Sunday, September 5, 2010

Table Assembly Instructions For Aliens

This picture is the complete assembly instructions for an Ikea table. Granted, they leave out that you have to hold the screws with a wrench or something while attaching the table legs, but that's not hard to figure. What's interesting is the apparently gelatinous being at the bottom, and what it is attempting to do. Whatever it is doing, it seems to hurt if you don't put a rug underneath. Also, greater pleasure is derived if one arm is extended, even if that arm does not have a hand. Bracing your arm against the obscure furniture-like item seems to prevent its cracking when you do whatever it is you do to it. I don't know what the being is pressing itself against (or into); it does not remotely resemble the flat table with four legs that these instructions accompany. I would, however, have liked to derive the pleasure from table assembly that this being apparently derived from whatever it did.

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