Saturday, November 29, 2008

Can I Get Bigger By Renting My Bundle To A Nintendo Timeshare?

Or am I just overexcited by all the great opportunities in my email? You know, it appears that I can get my degree while increasing both my penis and bra sizes. I am going to be one multi-faceted dude. With a new job working from home, not that I'll need it: I'm getting millions from various Africans who for some reason can't access their own bank accounts. Do you think I can just download these body part size increases? Because like, otherwise, I might have to get up from my chair. Which is where I'll be receiving all my rich guy payments and sex, thank you. If I have to get up, I'm renting my bundle elsewhere.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Bruce Springsteen's Super Bowl Set

Okay, Bruce is an Obama supporter, so presumably the fact that the Super Bowl occurs not long after the presidential inauguration means we'll get some happy political material. I.e., "Born To Run" is a lock, from the title alone. Whereas if McCain had won we might have gotten "War" and "Darkness On The Edge Of Town."

Now, I'm a huge Bruce fan, but I also think it would be great if the Dirtbombs played the Super Bowl and did their fantastic cover of Phil Lynott's "Ode To A Black Man" (which, despite my overt whiteness, I always find myself singing along to, especially at the incredibly catchy "can't understand a black man" line, at which point I'm always when I think of it damn glad I'm alone).

That aside aside, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Bruce played "The Promised Land" and "The Rising." Or something like the great cover he used to do of Chuck Berry's "Back in the USA." (Which, of course, was the title tune of the 2nd MC5 album, (over)produced by Jon Landau years before he was Bruce's manager.) Mainly I'd like it if Bruce just gets possessed like he used to, back when a great cover of Gary US Bonds' "Quarter To Three" could morph into something like this:

Bruce and the band had been playing a killer version of the song for 4 minutes prior to that little explosion. Now, if anyone has live footage of anyone anywhere comparable to this, please let me know. I saw Bruce three times in the 80s, they were the 3 best shows I've ever seen, and no one comes close. And I've seen James Brown, Sun Ra, the PFunk All-Stars, Sonny Rollins, NRBQ, The Clash, and a whole lot more. Some of these folk I caught well past their prime; I can judge only by what I've seen. And from what I've seen and heard, the 1978 Springsteen tour is the greatest series of shows filmed and recorded.

So of course the NFL gets him 31 years later. Now, they may have gotten the right guy. Bruce still makes good albums, if not as good as his best. And his repertoire (he was playing 3 hour sets 30 years ago) leaves him plenty of good songs to choose from. And I'm sure he still has a damn sight more energy than most performers half his age. The biggest competition may be that the NFL actually got Prince for the Super Bowl just a couple years ago, and that's a guy in Bruce's approximate age bracket who can also still deliver. Hey, it's a lot more fun competition than the one for the presidency. Personally, I'm still looking for people excited about Joe Biden.

Book of the Day - Hunger, by Knut Hamsun

An absolute classic about a man struggling to survive, insisting that he will make it as a writer even when he can't afford to eat. He just continues to write.

This book was first recommended to me by a guy bumming change at a bus stop. I gave him fifty cents, he turned me on to one of my favorite authors. I win the exchange, except karmically, where he kills me. Bastard.

Anyway, this one's dedicated to our Thursday holiday on which we're supposed to give thanks but generally celebrate gluttony. I'll be with my wife and our sons, a friend and some dogs, and we know that our favorite Korean barbecue will be open, so although I would not need to enjoy the food to appreciate the group I'll be with, I will enjoy the food. Quite possibly gluttonously. Friday I work again, can resume lack of eating then.

Cheers, all. The economy is brutal; we don't need to be.

And if anyone needs a board game recommendation, contact me after tomorrow night. We own a game store, and I suspect by then I'll have played them all.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Oh God, this site is becoming rife with cute pictures

Lemmy reveals the secret to his health and good looks.


I'm writing a short story about a hitman, so I was researching sniper rifles on the net. Which is when I found this:

Now that's what I call a domesticated animal.

Saturday, November 22, 2008


I've just spent a couple of minutes beating the shit out of a lid of pasta sauce, in a desperate attempt to make it turnable. I'm what's politely called middle-aged now, fully capable of most manual activities. And I can't make pasta without really going psycho on this jar (coming soon, don't worry I won't starve).

What happens when I'm old and still want to eat cheaply? Do I have to hurl the goddamn jar at the outside of the house and scrape what's edible into a bowl, stepping around the shards of glass? Or will be I be stuck with boxed foods? I have no problem with being thought of as the crazy old guy who throws jars at his own house; I'm concerned with how much food will be lost in the process. Will I be outside lapping at the sauce on my steps? Even if I don't need it, just to keep the animals and homeless away? Or maybe I should just step in it and eat my own feet. Flexibility can be essential to survival.